One of these days people will learn to drive their damn cars.

Of course, it'll be after I'm long gone and the cars are driving themselves. Until then we have to suffer through some of the most idiotic decision-making dill-weeds that have ever graced the face of the planet. Let's go over a little guide for these people:

Fifty cars lined up behind you while you're going 10 MPH under the speed limit? Noooooo problem, keep on cruising along, after all, it's your destiny to slow down the hectic lives of everyone else, that's why you were born and you do your job with pride. After all, you're important.

In ability to chose a lane as you come up to fork in the road? No problem, just straddle both lanes, weaving side to side so no one knows what the hell you are doing. It's okay, we understand, it's hard to preplan your trip, take your time and cause a few accidents in the traffic build up behind you. After all, the world does revolve around you.

Hey, it's Friday! How about you leave work early, dive in your typical moronic form and screw up traffic for everyone else!? Sounds like a plan. After all, it seems everyone else apparently works approximately 200x faster on Fridays because, somehow, someway they always seem done early and on the road just in time to screw everything up for the rest of us that get of at a normal time. Every. Friday. Without. Fail. After all, you're important.

What the heck is a turn signal you ask? It's used to signal that you are turning the opposite direction you indicate, or to simply drive down the road for 30 miles with it on aimlessly.. that is until somebody gets frustrated and decides to pass you on that side - THEN, that's when you need to get over. Got it, good plan. After all, you're important.

Speeding up to merge with highway traffic at traffic speed is for the birds. Make everyone on the highway slam on their brakes to let you in, after all, you're important.

Cell phone? Heck yeah, start texting and chatting away. Pay no attention to the road or traffic. Everything will be a'okay. After all, you're important.

Is that a missile you see in your rearview mirror??? Yes it is. My gift to you. Enjoy.